The Regulation Room: Honoring Grief, Gratitude, and the Power of Integration

Hi, I’m Melissa McLaughlin, founder of Melissa McLaughlin Wellness, and this is The Regulation Room.

This space was created for high-functioning women and caregivers who continue to carry the weight of life—often while experiencing burnout, chronic pain, chronic illness, or a nervous system that never quite gets to rest.

The Regulation Room is a place to slow down.
A place to reconnect to the body through nervous system care, lymphatic flow, gentle somatic movement, and breath.
A place where the body sets the pace.

Why This Season Matters: Snake to Horse

As we close out 2025, the Year of the Snake, many of us are feeling the effects of deep shedding. This year asked us to release old identities, relationships that no longer aligned, and long-held survival patterns. For many, it brought multiple layers of healing—both individually and within our communities.

Now, we begin moving toward 2026, the Year of the Horse.

The Horse represents forward motion, freedom, vitality, and embodied momentum. But this movement is only sustainable when it’s aligned. And right now, we are not meant to run yet.

We are in a six-week integration window—a powerful bridge between what has been released and what is ready to emerge.

This is the space where we “clean house,” regulate our nervous systems, and allow the body to integrate the lessons of the past year so that we can move forward cleanly and intentionally.

Integration Is the Missing Piece

So often, the New Year brings a “new year, new me” mentality—resolutions, goals, and pressure to move forward quickly. But here in the Northern Hemisphere, we are still in winter.

Winter signals the earth—and our bodies—to go inward.

This is not the season for force.
It is the season for recalibration.

Integration is where burnout happens if we skip it. It’s where the nervous system says, “Slow down—I’m still catching up.” And when we listen, we create sustainability.

The Regulation Room exists to support this exact moment.

Grief and Gratitude Can Coexist

One of the most important aspects of integration is allowing grief and gratitude to exist together.

Grief may show up as:

Mourning old versions of ourselves
Grieving time, energy, health, or relationships
Acknowledging how hard it was to survive

Grief is not something to “get over.”
It’s something the nervous system needs to safely process and integrate.

At the same time, gratitude may arise:

Gratitude for resilience
Gratitude for awareness
Gratitude for being here now, with gained wisdom
Gratitude for the small pockets of joy that carried us through

Gratitude does not cancel grief.
It coexists with it.

When both are named—without reliving or analyzing—the body releases stored tension and begins to soften.

You Can’t Run Like the Horse Without Integration

A message that came through strongly for me recently was this:

“You can’t run like the horse if you haven’t integrated what’s been released.”

During a recent trip to Costa Rica, I witnessed five horses freely running down the beach toward me—playing, galloping, fully embodied, and alive. Feeling that energy was deeply moving and symbolic.

That kind of freedom comes from integration—not force.

This is why we listen to the body instead of the mind’s urgency. The body always knows what it needs in the moment.

Gentle Somatic Integration Practice

As part of this work, we invite gentle, intuitive movement—nothing forced.

You may notice your body wanting to:

Create small circles
Gently sway side to side
Rock forward and back
Combine movements naturally

This is the body regulating itself.

A simple practice you may explore:

Begin with gentle rocking or swaying
Move into a shoulder hug, then open the arms wide to open the heart space
Switch which arm is on top
Allow subtle rotation or continued rocking
Let the body decide how much opening feels safe

These are small, safe signals to the nervous system.

Integration is not passive.
It is powerful.

What The Regulation Room Supports

This space exists to help you:

Honor what’s ending
Appreciate what’s here now
Create safety in your body
Move forward when it feels right—not when you’re pressured

In the coming weeks, we’ll begin walking through the Regulation Room method, starting with the first step: Recognize—learning how to listen to the body, check in, and notice where you are without judgment.